Getting laid off is just like being paid to be on vacation...with the Griswold family. You have severe emotional swings for about two weeks, but you know in the end things will all work out.....you just hope you don't kill grandma or the family dog in the process.
I didn't know what it would feel like to lose my job, but I knew it was a possibility. I work, or should say worked, in an industry totally dependent on commodity prices. Prices are extremely low right now with no hope of rebounding anytime soon. The writing was sort of on the wall; I just didn't know my name was on the list.
Without sounding too whiny, I really thought I was good at my job. I had worked at my company for about 8 years. In that time I had received 3 promotions and 7 raises that made me an extremely expensive employee. That's not a bad position to be in unless the company, and more specifically the industry, isn't doing so hot. I liked my job for the most part. The last few years had been the toughest though emotionally, if I'm being honest.
On the day my life fell apart (dramatic much?), I started my day in the usual way. I hit the gym at 6am, where I joked with my trainer about the possibility of layoffs. I got to work at 7:30am, where I immediately started killing it (well, okay, maybe that's exaggerating). But I was actually working on a serious project that morning. A couple of hours later, I was told in a meeting of about 45 other employees that we were a valuable company asset that was no longer required. We were assured that we would be treated with dignity and respect every step of the way. Then I was ushered out of the building as quickly as possible and told that someone would ship me my belongings. Very respectfully, of course.
I have never felt more dignified as I walked to my car with a piece of paper telling me where I could access my online severance documents. I'm not a public crier, so I focused my breathing and worked on making it to my car before letting my emotions fly. All I really managed to do was make myself hyperventilate.
I drove to my soon-to-be husband's house, because I didn't know where else to go. Our wedding was in 3 days, so it would be just as appropriate to call it my house. Side note: if you're going to lose your job, you should always lose it the week of your wedding. It gives you ample time to run last-minute errands, and it's the ideal time to pay $10,000 for a fancy dinner for family, friends, and their plus ones whom you've never met. I put on the uniform of the unemployed (pajamas), and settled in for an HGTV marathon of watching yuppies with promising careers look at houses they can't really afford.
I cried. A lot.
My fella came home at lunch, where I cried so much he had to change his shirt.
I fell asleep crying, then I woke up crying. And started the cycle over again. For the record, I'm pretty much done crying.
Everyone in my life was worried about me. I kept getting texts, calls, and emails urging me to look on the bright side, hang in there, and focus on my wedding. I truly did appreciate the support, but my snarky, sarcastic personality wanted to tell everyone to go to hell. Luckily I didn't, so I still have friends now that I'm back from the dark side. I was able to spend the next few days and week enjoying my wedding and honeymoon. It was a real gift to have something that pleasant to focus on in the midst of a very trying emotional event. It also made it impossible for people to refuse me anything. Being a bride gives you a license to be demanding for about a day. Being a bride who just lost her job gives you a license to be a demanding bitch for about a month before anyone revolts. So far I've used my powers for good and lots of vodka-infused drinks.
Now that the wedding dust has settled, I have to get back to my real life. It's confusing, though, because my real life doesn't exist in the same way it did before. It's nice to not have to go to work tomorrow, but I feel disoriented, like I'm doing something wrong or unnatural.
I need a plan. That's pretty much what this blog is for. Finally, a point for all the rambling - Kudos for making it this far. Writing is a good outlet for me, and hopefully my loss will be your gain in the way of sarcastic, dare I say, funny anecdotes and updates about my career search and my musings on corporate life in general. And just maybe, it will help me find a job. After all, it worked when I wanted a husband.* I may not have plans for my future, but I definitely have grand plans for what this blog can be. More to come in future posts. For now, just relax and enjoy my extended vacation.
Unless you still have a job, in which case you should probably do whatever it is you need to do to keep it.
* For more information on that, you should check out my other blog.
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